Have you ever found yourself in a place where you don’t even know whether you’re coming or going? I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s been here before. The last couple of weeks have been very tough. I lost someone very near and dear to me.
Death is something that we can never be fully prepared for, I must say. As much as we know that everyone will die one day, actually losing someone you love always comes as a shock. I think I’m still in a space where I’m trying to make sense of what happened. A part of me knows that this person is gone, but another part of me refuses to accept this. Does that even make sense?
Anyway, I’ve now found myself in this weird place where I have all these emotions to process, but I’m struggling to do so. Where does one even start? I’m usually that person who always encourages others to deal with their pain and feel their feelings, but for the first time, I’ve realised that I can’t even allow myself to do that right now. It’s like there’s something blocking me from going “there”.
Grief is so strange. I feel like time is standing still while it’s also moving at the same time. That might not make sense, but I really feel that way. You’re stuck in this painful place but you’re also expected to move on because life goes on.
Everything will be well again. Right now, though, things are a bit tricky. I guess I just need to be a little gentle and kinder to myself and take things one day at a time.